Relationships 101: What are Karmic Relationships, Soul Mates and Twin Flames? - Part 1 of 4

Relationships 101: What are Karmic Relationships, Soul Mates and Twin Flames? - Part 1 of 4

We are creatures of habit and our behavior and desires are highly influenced by the neural-pathways that we have created in our brains during our life. Old patterns of thinking, while subconscious, are effortless compared with creating new and healthier thoughts and behaviors thanks to the way that our brains work. According to F. Diane Barth L.C.S.W. in Psychology Today, “We are comfortable with familiar patterns, even when they cause us stress or pain. We therefore continue to repeat them, even when they do not get us where we want to go.”

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Dear Loneliness - by guest blogger Elisa Moga

Dear Loneliness - by guest blogger Elisa Moga

I recently met Elisa Moga on Instagram and was instantly impressed with her maturity, vulnerability and soulful reflections. Elisa grew up in Southern France, studied yoga in India and presently resides in Australia where she teaches yoga, writes poetry and enjoys photography. It is my pleasure to welcome Elisa as a guest blogger on Total Soulful Journey. I believe that you will appreciate her interesting perspective on how she made peace with her feelings of loneliness while living on her own in a foreign land.

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How to Survive Painful Events in Your Relationship

How to Survive Painful Events in Your Relationship

Betrayal cuts such deep wounds in our hearts and tears at the connective fabric of our relationships. How we treat a loved one in a time of conflict says a lot about our inner turmoil, our character and where we are along our spiritual path.

Years ago in the heat of divorce my ex and I had numerous shouting matches. The less that we felt like we were being heard by one another, the louder our voices became. Our daughter, who is a very wise young adult, finally intervened saying, “Stop mom and dad! This is going nowhere!” She was right. I was fighting to save our marriage, but it was already over. There was nothing more that I could say to turn the boat around. The only healing option was to accept this new reality, forgive and move on.

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7 Signs That Your Partner is Cheating On You And Why Character Matters

7 Signs That Your Partner is Cheating On You And Why Character Matters

We are not only what we say we are, but more truthfully we are the sum total of our actions. Character matters because it is the foundation on which trust is created between people. This particularly matters in business relations, as well as in intimate relationships where trust is absolutely necessary.

People who say one thing and then do something totally contrary have no credibility. Word is bond. It’s how we learn if we can trust one another, and trust is something that we have to earn. It is not an entitlement. It can take years to earn trust and only a careless moment to lose it all forever. We all know about physical and emotional affairs, but it is also dishonest to lead someone on if you have no intentions of being committed to that person who loves and honors you.

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How To Start Over When Your Plans Are Shattered

How To Start Over When Your Plans Are Shattered

We make plans in life and sometimes they unexpectedly fall apart forcing us to start all over again. This can be a time of fear, anxiety, shame, sadness and intense stress. We may even find ourselves encountering dark thoughts as the future that was once full of hope and direction is suddenly blank and empty. If you find yourself in this position, please know that this is temporary and that you have the power within you to ride out the storm and create a better life for yourself.

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Do You Have Healthy Boundaries?

Do You Have Healthy Boundaries?

This week I had to make one of the hardest decisions of my life regarding healthy boundaries. It was very sad to do, yet completely necessary. Just typing that sentence has made my left hand start to shake. I can intellectualize my choice, but perhaps my body is telling me that there is so much more that I do not even know about this situation. Maybe there is a resistance that doesn’t want me to share such intimacy with you, buried emotions that aren’t ready to be reveal, or an invisible thread that wants to pull me back?


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How To Overcome The Poverty of Thought And Make Your Dreams Come True

How To Overcome The Poverty of Thought And Make Your Dreams Come True

What often holds us back from achieving our dreams are our limiting thoughts, beliefs and habits. In a way this is a form of poverty that keeps us in a state of lack and hopelessness. By understanding how our conscious and our subconscious minds work, we can literally reprogram our minds for success and to start living our dreams. Please watch this informative video by Dr. Bruce Lipton. He does an excellent job of explaining how our brains work and how to reprogram them:

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Do I Have a Drinking Problem?

Do I Have a Drinking Problem?

Alcohol is a huge problem that many Americans do not want to admit. It surrounds us on television, in movies, and at movie theaters, restaurants, bars, and even sometimes at work meetings. Yoga studios are even hosting events like vino & vinyasa and asanas & ales to lure people in. Consuming alcoholic beverages has not only become the social norm, but it seems almost expected of us. Beverages are marketed to appeal to younger people and make drinking appear sexy. There is even hard water which is 6% alcohol. It tastes like fruity sparkling water and is marketed as a low calorie healthy alternative. To make matters worse, apparently fake ID’s are easily attainable and inexpensive so please talk with your underage children and know what is happening in their lives.

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What Does "As Within, So Without" Mean?

What Does "As Within, So Without" Mean?

What does “As Within, So Without” mean to you? This expression is considered to be a universal truth or law which shows us that the outside world is a reflection of our inner world. What we feel and what we believe have a tendency to manifest in our lives. For this reason it is very important to raise our awareness regarding this universal truth and to understand how it applies to our lives.

For example, have you had periods in your life where bad things keep happening to you and it feels like you never get a break from the problems and challenges that keep weighing you down? Stop and think about this,

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Why Do We Seek Validation and Approval?

Why Do We Seek Validation and Approval?

The vast majority of society seeks approval or validation from others. We learn at a young age to occassionally look up at mom and dad, waiting for that nod or smile to show that what we are doing is ok. As we grow we look to teachers for praise. Once we are adults we need to be told we are doing well at work and we even look to social media for likes and comments. All of these are forms of validation and approval.

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The Importance of Every Journey

The Importance of Every Journey

For the past four weeks I have been on a solo journey across the western states of the USA. I’ve traveled over 5000 miles while visiting beautiful National Parks such as Glacier, the Grand Tetons, Yellowstone, Zion, Bryce Canyon, Yosemite and the Redwoods. Along the way I have enjoyed countless conversations with people from across America and from around the world. Inevitably Total Soulful Journey came up in these conversations along with a host of questions about life, reaffirming that people are hungry for actionable information on how they can live their best lives.

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5 Tips for a Strong Morning Routine

5 Tips for a Strong Morning Routine

Rise and Shine! We have all heard that popular saying, however, most of us wake up and hit the snooze button rather than jumping out of bed with enthusiasm to begin our day. The first hour of the day determines our success. Do you immediately reach for your phone upon waking to check texts, emails, or social media? I know I sure did. I use to use my phone as my alarm and until  I became aware of how mindlessly I was scrolling through it and I could not change my habit. Our mindset determines our habits and our habits & thoughts determine our outcomes. I realized I want to thrive rather than simply survive, don’t we all?

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The 5 Love Languages - A Book Review

The 5 Love Languages - A Book Review

 “The 5 Love Languages,” by Gary Chapman, is a New York Times Bestseller. According to the author, we all have one primary love language. If your partner speaks a language that is different from yours, it is difficult to effectively communicate. This is also true when it comes to each others love language. When we fully understand and respect the 5 love languages as identified and explained so beautifully in this book, we are then able to understand our partner, as well as ourselves and work together to effectively communicate.

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Learn to be Comfortable in Uncomfortable Situations

It is all too easy to stick within our comfort zones, but watch out because they are a trap. Comfort zones keep us from realizing our greater potential. Challenges intimidate our ego and sometimes make us feel small when we fail to rise to the occasion. We must not fear failure. By coming to value the lessons that we learn from our mistakes, we will advance as we journey through life. In addition, by learning to accept what intimidates and makes us feel uncomfortable, we develop a new level of confidence when we push ourselves to new levels of growth.

Hiking the Zion Narrows can be intimidating, but ultimately rewarding when you rise to the challenge of hiking up this river. Photography by Paul Garrett

Hiking the Zion Narrows can be intimidating, but ultimately rewarding when you rise to the challenge of hiking up this river. Photography by Paul Garrett

Anytime I accept an invitation for a new group or try a new yoga studio for the first time, I feel anxious, nervous and intimidated. But, when I push through that discomfort it is almost always a great experience. When we enter the unknown we become vulnerable. Vulnerability is difficult, but is so necessary as it is the gateway of all emotions. Some people are more likely to take risks. People who have suffered trauma, particularly in early childhood, are less likely to explore and take risks. Vulnerability requires great courage because it reveals our authenticity and requires us to show our true selves by taking off the mask we so often wear to try to please others.

Sometimes my closest friends, you know the two or three who know me intimately, will ask why I do not heed my own advice. The truth is that we are all on this journey together. I do not believe that anyone is perfect. I am learning and growing everyday. Sometimes I write or post on social media the content I most need to hear. Yes, that’s right you heard it straight from the horse’s mouth! I admit wholeheartedly that there are things I need to work on and improve, but  I feel fortunate to have that awareness. Once we awaken we are able to improve. So please step out of your comfort zone. YOU are worthy of accomplishing all of your dreams. Although each of our journeys are a little different, ultimately our purpose is to become the best possible version of ourselves. We must learn how to take risks and learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable.

My Blogging Partner, Paul Garrett, loves to hike and explore, but standing on the edge of a cliff is totally outside of his comfort Zone.

My Blogging Partner, Paul Garrett, loves to hike and explore, but standing on the edge of a cliff is totally outside of his comfort Zone.

Just as children have physical growing pains, adults too have growing pains, but usually our pains are in the form of mental and emotional anguish, frustration, and sadness. Learn to commit more to your dreams than to your comfort zone and you will soar! No one is alone. My own door is personally open all the time if anyone wants to bounce ideas off me or simply needs a listening ear. The minute we isolate ourselves we start a downward spiral. My greatest desire is for each of us to reach abundance in all areas of our lives. When we join together and help one another, we become stronger. Please feel free to message me on Instagram or comment below, and on days when you feel strong or have a little extra love please consider reaching out to someone around you to offer them support and kindness.

With Love & Courage,

Libby


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How to Deal With Anger

How often do you get angry? Anger is one of the most common human emotions. It’s a very natural reaction when we feel hurt by someone, when our expectations are sadly unmet, when someone offends us, when we don’t get our way, when we are grieving and even when we are embarrassed. Anger is often a mirror of what we see in ourselves, but do not want to face. It can also be a secondary emotion that is a reflection of pain,  sadness, fear or shame.

The problem with anger is when it becomes chronic or uncontrollable. You know those angry people who fly off the rails at the slightest offense, or are always looking for a fight. Chronic anger is especially harmful to our health. It puts us under ongoing stress as our bodies are constantly under the influence of stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. Over time, chronic anger can lower our immune system’s ability to fight common diseases such as colds, and possibly lead to heart disease, hypertension and even cancer in some cases.

Sometimes you just want to scream! Photography by Paul Garrett

Sometimes you just want to scream! Photography by Paul Garrett

Anger also puts our bodies into a lower vibration. As a result, angry people repel happy people and attract angry folks instead. This lower state of vibration also draws other problems into our lives. Notice how bad things often happen to angry people. Well according to the Law of Attraction, this all makes sense.

Years ago I was much more prone to frustration and anger if things did not go my way. There were times, for example, when my computer was not working properly while editing videos that needed to be completed for clients ASAP and I wanted to throw it out the window. Of course I didn’t do that, lol, but the frustration was there.

Over the past three years, I have learned how to manage anger to the point that it never has much of an influence over me. Through meditation and other mindfulness exercises I can now smile and even laugh in the most frustrating of times. Another helpful technique that I use is Libby’s method of Awareness, Acceptance and Forgiveness. When my car got hit by another driver this summer, I was aware of my emotions and remained calm, I accepted that accidents happen and I was grateful that no one was injured. I was able to immediately forgive the other driver and myself for the accident, and as a result, the other driver was also calm and cooperative. Had either of us resorted to anger, this situation would have been so much worse. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Looking for the lessons and learning from them is a gift that can save us from even worse situations in the future.

Through awareness we can manage anger. Photography by Paul Garrett

Through awareness we can manage anger. Photography by Paul Garrett

Another method that is very helpful under stressful situations is breath work. By becoming aware of our breathing and by taking deep breaths, we can practice “The Pause” and heighten our self awareness. Anger is often the result of old triggers related to past pain, sadness, fear or shame within our subconscious minds. When you are in a situation where you feel like you are going to become angry, stop and take a deep breath. This will slow down the situation and make you aware of your emotions in a manner that you will be able to control. This is the difference between reacting off the cuff with anger or responding in a calm manner. Remember that what we put out into the world comes back to us. If we react in anger, other people are likely to react back with anger. This is especially important to remember when you are dealing with your partner, your spouse or your children. Angry words are often hurtful and they cannot be taken back.

A Total Soulful Journey becomes possible when we practice self mastery over our mind, our body and our spirit. Through self love we become more compassionate toward ourselves and anger fades into the background as our egos hold less influence over our emotions. This doesn’t mean that we will never feel angry again. What it does mean is that we can recognize our anger quickly and process it before it becomes a problem. Once again anger is a natural emotion, however, life is too short to let it control us. Choose peace and happiness for they are foundations for a great life!

Wishing you peace and happiness,

Paul


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New Posts Every Tuesday and Saturday

Yoga as a Path to Mental Well-Being

There are a growing number of mental health concerns plaguing our country as well as places around the world including, but not limited to; addiction, anxiety, and violent aggression. Addictions include alcohol & drugs, sex, food, social media, and the biggest most common addiction that I see daily is to the phone. My biggest concern is two fold. One; people are not practicing self love and acceptance AND they are not reaching out for help when needed. Two; doctors are prescribing medications rather than exploring the root cause of the emotional triggers and reactions.

Yoga connects the body and mind through breath. Awareness begins with the physical practice on the mat and then carries into daily life. Once we are plugged into ourselves we are better able to cope with stress, anxiety, depression and other emotions rather than try to put a Bandaid over it to cover it up. Yoga centers us and raises our confidence and self esteem. When we are not centered we become extreme. When we are centered we can cope.

Photography by Paul Garrett

Photography by Paul Garrett

There is no easy fix that will work in the long run. We must stay comitted to our mental well being and revisit and reevaluate ourselves daily. We have to want to stand firm against our inner demons and to grow into the best version of ourselves. Love and truth set us free. We must face problems head on in peaceful productive ways and set firm boundries.

Support groups such as AA, Al-Anon, and Co-Dependency all suggest following the 12 steps. I have had clients ask if I had been through one of these programs because they said what I spoke of and taught in class was so similar. I was curious for a long time so I finally attended both AA and Al-Anon groups to understand both perspectives. I was thrilled to learn that many long term treatment centers for addiction use Yoga as therapy. I then ordered The Big Book and Al-Anon Works to deepen my understanding of the twelve steps. Although the twelve steps are similar to the 8 Limbs of Yoga, there are some differences. After much reflection I combined what I found most helpful from both and created my own steps for the Foundations for Living the Best Life. I am starting a Meetup group here in Cincinnati, and I hope that it spreads to create a community of people who want to better themselves through discussions, volunteer work, and outdoor activities, including yoga. My study will continue in December when I take a weekend course for Yoga and addiction and trauma therapy. I look forward to continuing to learn, grow and help others.

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The truth is that we all face obstacles in life and at any given moment we cannot know what others are truly facing. Many times we keep our biggest struggles to ourselves. No matter how happy or confident someone may appear we all have days when we feel we are falling apart. Sometimes we are cracked open to allow our light to shine and to keep pushing forward. We are never alone, but sometimes we need to take responsibility, reach out, ask for help, and tell someone we are not Ok in that moment. You are not a mess and life does not end when we fall down. We need to have the courage and strength to stand up, shake it off and face our insecurities. It is important to pause, breathe, and respond with respect to both yourself and others. Yoga teaches us awareness, acceptance and forgiveness. For me personally I have become more patient, confident, and focused. This does not mean I never have bad days, but rather that I am more equipped to handle those days with grace and love. When I feel down or unsure, the first thing I do is get on my mat. If I have low energy I may only move a little, but it always brings me back home, grounds me, and brings great clarity.

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I hope that when you face the next obstacle in your life that you will reach out. Ask a friend to try yoga with you, visit a support group, or read and try my Foundations for Living the Best Life. We all deserve to be happy and to have abundance in our lives. We all have a divine spark within. So be your authentic self and shine bright. You never know who you may help by sharing your story or even asking someone how they are doing. When we accept our differences and learn from each other, we grow stronger as a community.

Mindfully Yours, 

Libby

 

P.S. Please register for our newsletter and if you leave a positive comment below or private message us on social media you will be entered into a drawing to win 2 tickets for Wanderlust 108 Cincinnati!  


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Remembering 911 - A Tribute to the American Spirit

My current journey across the western USA reminds me once again how blessed I am to live in such a beautiful and diverse nation. On this 17th anniversary of 911, I am also reminded of the amazing fortitude and the heroism that was demonstrated on that horrific day. It is also a day to remember and honor the fallen, all of the innocent people who lost their lives, not only in NYC, DC and in Pennsylvania, but to also honor the brave men and women who gave their lives or were wounded in the military actions that ensued in the following years.

The United States of America is special because we believe that all people have the right to rise above their current standing to live the life of their dreams. That is the American Dream, to have the freedom to create our lives, to prosper from the fruit of our labor and to live in peace, free from the tyranny of government. These values are also desired by many good people all over the world who are denied these beautiful human values.

Old Faithful in Yellowstone National Park - Photography by Paul Garrett

Old Faithful in Yellowstone National Park - Photography by Paul Garrett

 As a people we are hard working, innovative and friendly. We may have been victimized at times, but we are never victims. Together we rise to any occasion and never give up, even during the most difficult times. You can say that Americans have an indomitable spirit.

 A week ago I attended the Zac Brown Band and One Republic concert at Safeco Field in Seattle. There was such a collective feeling of unity and happiness that evening. I was happy to see so many smiles from all walks of life. This feeling of friendliness has continued this past week as I have met so many gracious people each day of my road trip. We all have so much in common! Yes we have differences because we are all unique. Diversity, however, is something to celebrate and not to condemn. By bringing our wide ranging talents and points of view to the table we create a stronger country. 

Grand Teton Nation Park - Photography by Paul Garrett

Grand Teton Nation Park - Photography by Paul Garrett

 We may never understand what really happened on 911, but we do know that Americans are a strong and peaceful people. We value freedom, family and our country. We also acknowledge that evil exists, but we never cower to it. There have been critics who have tried to say that America’s best days are behind us. You have to question their motives for saying such nonsense. In my humble opinion, our best days are still ahead of us and this will continue to be true as long as we remember our values, stand up for them and continue to become the best versions of ourselves. We all matter and we all have something to contribute to the greater good of our nation and to the world. So on this day of remembrance, think about how you can contribute to making world the best that it can be. We are one and we are strong!

God bless,

Paul

P.S. - We are grateful each and everyday for our military and first responders who serve and protect us, as well as the emergency room personell. Thank you, thank you, thank you and peace to everyone! 

 


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Tantra, What the heck does THAT mean?

We are all a part of a great tapestry and when you weave us together we become one, which is the key to Samadhi, or ultimate enlightenment. When we think of tantra we typically associate it with tantric sex. Our society, as a whole, would like us to believe that sex outside of the intent to recreate is dirty or taboo. But sex is truly a beautiful act between two people in love and during which they literally reach the highest state of becoming one with each other.

Photography by Libby McAvoy

Photography by Libby McAvoy

So what prompted this blog? Well, I am currently reading, “The Book of Secrets” by Osho. It is a very long, information packed, deep book. But I am learning a lot about tantra and why it is often related to love and sex. In a society where sadly we are flooded with mental health issues, depair, and violence we need to rejoice in respectful SEX and in LOVE because the world needs more peace. Ok, so according to The Book of Secrets, “the word tantra means technique, the method, the path.” This is different from philosophy that has us asking “why” in that tantra is a science that looks at and shows us “how” so we can answer our own questions through life experiences. We cannot seek answers outside of us and we all tend to lend advice where we ourselves do not heed that same advice. According to Osho, “Tantra will give us a technique to attain answers.”

I have spoken many times about the importance of breath, but Osho explains it as each exhale being a moment of death and each inhale being a moment of rebirth. So, when we understand this we can find strength in knowing that with each breath we take is a chance to start anew. At the center of our being lies our heart. Love is ultimately the link between us and the divine. There is no separation. When two people are deeply in love there is also no separation. When those two people share the act of intercourse, and during intercourse, they remain still without words and momentarity they become sex, they become love, and it is no longer an action but a transcendence which is why tantra is often seen through tantraic sex. But it is more than sex. It is a divine union that takes us to a place of utimate bliss. 

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We have to allow every situation to be. Tantra explains the importance of acceptance. We need to surrender rather than suppress our emotions and undertsanding. Sometimes, especially during times of unrest, we cannot possibly undertsand the “whys” and we have to simply surrender and sit with it. In my own city of Cincinnati, we just experienced a tragedy as a gunman opened fire in our Fountain Square and Fifth Third Banking Headquarter building. Unfortunately three innocent people lost their lives and two others remain hospitalized. It is in these tragic and difficult times that we all search for answers and understanding. But we have to simply accept what is. There are metally ill people, people who make grave mistakes, and terrorists, but Tantra explains that there is no division between good and bad. No one is a bad person, but some people do bad things. It is in these times that we are challenged the most. We must forgive, which is incredibly difficult, but holding grudges only hurts us more in the long run. This goes for all challenges that we face. Religion is fear based where spiritality is love based. Love conquers all. So be love, give love, and most importantly practice self love.

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So love more, enjoy tantric or long unspoken intimate sex with your life partner, and practice awareness, acceptance, and forgiveness each and every day. We are never promised tomorrows so we need to make the most of each day. Rise up to your greatest potential. Great things are coming. Accept what is and have faith in what will be.

Lovingly,

Libby

 

P.S. - Please stay tuned for our blog Tuesday by Paul Garret, which will honor and pay tribute to all who lost loved ones on 911 and in any tragic event.


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September is National Preparedness Month

Are you ready for the unexpected? You never know when a disaster might strike your community, so it is vital that you prepare in advance to make sure that you and your family have plenty of supplies and a plan to carry you through.

When I worked for a major movie studio in Los Angeles years ago, the company brought in experts to teach us how to be prepared in the event of a disaster, such as a major earthquake. While living in LA, I experienced the Northridge Earthquake in 1994, as well as the Rodney King riots in 1992. During both of these events people rushed to the grocery stores for staples. Milk, bottled water, bread, batteries, flashlights and toilet paper flew off the shelves and were difficult to purchase within a couple hours. 

Hanalei on the island of Kauai after a flash flood took out roads and damaged cars and homes in 2018. - Photography by Paul Garrett

Hanalei on the island of Kauai after a flash flood took out roads and damaged cars and homes in 2018. - Photography by Paul Garrett

At the studio I was taught how to prepare a disaster kit that we kept inside of a large recycling bin with wheels. In case we had to evacuate on foot, we could easily wheel it with us. I was also instructed to have a bug out bag for the car and to create a family communication plan if my family was separated during a disaster. My mobile kit contained all of the essentials, including a tent, blankets, food, water, a camping stove, medical supplies, personal hygiene items, spare clothes and cash. Instead of using a recycling bin, you may choose to fill a large duffle bag or a backpack with your emergency supplies that you can quickly put in your car if you need to quickly get away. Also make sure that you have a comfortable pair of walking shoes and blankets in your car. 

Don’t wait until a disaster strikes, because the time to prepare is now. Please visit the following links for more information. The first link has a suggested emergency supply list to help you get started.

https://www.ready.gov/sites/default/files/documents/files/checklist3.pdf

https://www.ready.gov/september

https://www.epa.gov/natural-disasters/september-preparedness-month

The communities beyond Hanalei were cut off by landslides that blocked the road and had to receive relief supplies by boat. - Photography by Paul Garrett

The communities beyond Hanalei were cut off by landslides that blocked the road and had to receive relief supplies by boat. - Photography by Paul Garrett

As you know, hurricanes, tornados, earthquakes, wildfires, floods and civil unrest can happen without much notice. We encourage you to prepare an emergency kit and make a preparedness plan this month. By doing so you will be able to get through a difficult event and you will also be able help your community during the recovery process. In the wake of a major disaster it may take days for help to reach you so it is best that you are able to take care of yourself. Once again, visit the links above for more information. Preparedness will not only help you through a crisis, it will also give you peace of mind.

Wishing you the best,

Paul

P.S. - We are reading "The 5 Love Languages" this month for our TSJ book club. We hope that you will pick up a copy and join us for the review and discussion at the end of September.


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