How to Deal With Anger

How often do you get angry? Anger is one of the most common human emotions. It’s a very natural reaction when we feel hurt by someone, when our expectations are sadly unmet, when someone offends us, when we don’t get our way, when we are grieving and even when we are embarrassed. Anger is often a mirror of what we see in ourselves, but do not want to face. It can also be a secondary emotion that is a reflection of pain,  sadness, fear or shame.

The problem with anger is when it becomes chronic or uncontrollable. You know those angry people who fly off the rails at the slightest offense, or are always looking for a fight. Chronic anger is especially harmful to our health. It puts us under ongoing stress as our bodies are constantly under the influence of stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. Over time, chronic anger can lower our immune system’s ability to fight common diseases such as colds, and possibly lead to heart disease, hypertension and even cancer in some cases.

Sometimes you just want to scream! Photography by Paul Garrett

Sometimes you just want to scream! Photography by Paul Garrett

Anger also puts our bodies into a lower vibration. As a result, angry people repel happy people and attract angry folks instead. This lower state of vibration also draws other problems into our lives. Notice how bad things often happen to angry people. Well according to the Law of Attraction, this all makes sense.

Years ago I was much more prone to frustration and anger if things did not go my way. There were times, for example, when my computer was not working properly while editing videos that needed to be completed for clients ASAP and I wanted to throw it out the window. Of course I didn’t do that, lol, but the frustration was there.

Over the past three years, I have learned how to manage anger to the point that it never has much of an influence over me. Through meditation and other mindfulness exercises I can now smile and even laugh in the most frustrating of times. Another helpful technique that I use is Libby’s method of Awareness, Acceptance and Forgiveness. When my car got hit by another driver this summer, I was aware of my emotions and remained calm, I accepted that accidents happen and I was grateful that no one was injured. I was able to immediately forgive the other driver and myself for the accident, and as a result, the other driver was also calm and cooperative. Had either of us resorted to anger, this situation would have been so much worse. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Looking for the lessons and learning from them is a gift that can save us from even worse situations in the future.

Through awareness we can manage anger. Photography by Paul Garrett

Through awareness we can manage anger. Photography by Paul Garrett

Another method that is very helpful under stressful situations is breath work. By becoming aware of our breathing and by taking deep breaths, we can practice “The Pause” and heighten our self awareness. Anger is often the result of old triggers related to past pain, sadness, fear or shame within our subconscious minds. When you are in a situation where you feel like you are going to become angry, stop and take a deep breath. This will slow down the situation and make you aware of your emotions in a manner that you will be able to control. This is the difference between reacting off the cuff with anger or responding in a calm manner. Remember that what we put out into the world comes back to us. If we react in anger, other people are likely to react back with anger. This is especially important to remember when you are dealing with your partner, your spouse or your children. Angry words are often hurtful and they cannot be taken back.

A Total Soulful Journey becomes possible when we practice self mastery over our mind, our body and our spirit. Through self love we become more compassionate toward ourselves and anger fades into the background as our egos hold less influence over our emotions. This doesn’t mean that we will never feel angry again. What it does mean is that we can recognize our anger quickly and process it before it becomes a problem. Once again anger is a natural emotion, however, life is too short to let it control us. Choose peace and happiness for they are foundations for a great life!

Wishing you peace and happiness,


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