The Most Import Relationship In Your Life

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Many people believe that choosing the right life partner is the most important decision they will ever make. And they are not wrong. The person you choose to share your life with will influence your happiness, your health, your dreams, and the direction of your future. But there is one relationship that is even more important. The relationship you have with yourself.

Long before you meet your soulmate, you wake up with yourself every morning. You carry your thoughts, beliefs, wounds, dreams, and inner dialogue wherever you go. Every relationship you create in this world is filtered through the relationship you have with yourself.

If you do not know who you are, trust yourself, value yourself, and love yourself, it becomes difficult to create healthy, authentic relationships with others.

The Labels We Inherit

Most of us did not arrive at adulthood with a clear understanding of who we truly are. Instead, we inherited beliefs about ourselves from parents, teachers, peers, culture, and society. We were told who we should be. What success should look like. How we should behave. What makes us worthy of love and acceptance.

Some of these messages supported our growth. Others caused us to disconnect from our authentic selves. Perhaps your parents wanted you to become a doctor while your soul longed to be an artist. Perhaps you learned that expressing your emotions was a sign of weakness. Perhaps you were taught that your worth depended on achievement, appearance, or pleasing others.

Over time, these beliefs become subconscious programs that shape our choices, relationships, and sense of identity.When those programs are rooted in fear, shame, or conditional love, we lose touch with our hearts.

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The Journey of Remembering

Healing is not about becoming someone new. It is about remembering who you were before the world told you who you needed to be.

Many people experience an awakening when they begin to realize that something in their lives no longer feels aligned. It may show up as chronic stress, dissatisfaction, burnout, loneliness, anxiety, illness, or a persistent feeling that something is missing. That inner discomfort is not a sign that something is wrong with you. It is often your soul inviting you to make a change.

Awareness is the beginning of transformation. When we become conscious of the beliefs, patterns, and wounds that no longer serve us, we can begin to release them. As we reconnect with our authentic selves, we naturally move toward our passions, our purpose, and the life we were meant to live.

Transformation Begins With Self-Reflection

If we truly want to change our lives, we must first create time and space to understand ourselves. In a world filled with constant distractions, noise, and endless responsibilities, many of us move through life on autopilot, following old patterns and beliefs without ever questioning whether they still align with who we are.

Transformation begins the moment we pause and turn inward. Self-reflection is the doorway to self-discovery. It invites us to ask the questions that awaken the soul:

Who am I?

What do I truly want from my life?

What brings me genuine joy?

What are my gifts?

What is my purpose?

What no longer serves me?

As we honestly explore these questions, we begin to recognize where we have been giving away our power by seeking approval, people-pleasing, or living according to the expectations of others. We remember that we are not victims of our circumstances. We are creators of our lives.

When we reconnect with our authentic selves and become clear about who we are and what we desire, we begin making choices that align with our hearts rather than our fears. This is where transformation begins. This is where intention replaces obligation. This is where authenticity replaces performance. And this is where we begin to create what I call the good life—a life rooted in purpose, joy, meaningful relationships, and the freedom to fully express who we were born to be.

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10 Reasons Why Your Relationship With Yourself Matters Most

1. You Teach Others How to Treat You

The love, respect, and boundaries you give yourself become the standard for every relationship in your life.

2. You Stop Seeking Validation Outside Yourself

When you know your worth, you no longer depend on others to define your value or determine your happiness.

3. You Make Decisions That Honor Your Soul

Instead of living according to expectations or fear, you begin making choices that align with your deepest truth.

4. You Create Healthier Relationships

Authentic connection becomes possible when you show up as your true self rather than the version of yourself you think others want.

5. You Trust Your Inner Wisdom

A strong relationship with yourself strengthens your intuition and helps you recognize what feels right and what does not.

6. You Become More Resilient

Life will always bring challenges, but self-love creates an inner foundation that helps you navigate difficult seasons with grace and courage.

7. You Break Generational Patterns

As you heal your wounds and rewrite limiting beliefs, you stop passing pain from one generation to the next.

8. You Discover Your Unique Purpose

Each soul arrives here with gifts, passions, and a purpose. The better you know yourself, the more clearly you understand why you are here.

9. You Experience Greater Joy and Contentment

True happiness is not found through achievement, status, or external approval. It grows from living in alignment with who you truly are.

10. You Become Available for Soulful Love

When you love and value yourself, you stop settling for relationships rooted in fear, scarcity, or loneliness. You become capable of creating a partnership built on authenticity, emotional safety, and mutual growth.

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The Courage to Come Home to Yourself

The journey of self-discovery asks us to release what no longer serves us.

Old stories.

Outdated labels.

Limiting beliefs.

The fear of disappointing others.

This work is not always easy. But it is sacred. Because every layer you release brings you closer to the truth of who you are. And when you know who you are, you become free to live, love, and create from a place of authenticity.

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A Final Thought

You are not here to become who others expect you to be. You are here to remember who you truly are.

Learning to love and appreciate yourself is not selfish. It is the foundation upon which every meaningful relationship is built. When you cultivate a loving relationship with yourself, you create fertile soil for joy, purpose, connection, and lasting love.

The beautiful truth is this: The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship in your life. Tend to the garden within, and everything around you will begin to bloom.

Wishing you a fantastic week! Thanks for taking time to read this article and expand your heart!

All the best,

Paul Garrett & Total Soulful Journey

PS - I invite you to sign up for the Total Soulful Journey newsletter for the latest news and tips for living your very best life. I welcome you to this community of positive healthy minded souls.

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Total Soulful Journey

Awaken • Inspire • Empower

How to Take Meditation to the Next Level for Success

We live in stressful times and to combat stress it is a wise idea to have a regular meditation practice in order to calm your mind and your body. After all, meditation has been proven to relieve anxiety, lower blood pressure, relax the mind and increase mental focus.

Meditation is also a great tool for envisioning the life that you desire to manifest. If you are not envisioning the life that you want to create, chances are that you are living in survival mode, working paycheck to paycheck for others and struggling to keep up with your bills. With meditation you will be able to guide yourself to a life of contentment and abundance. It’s all up to you.

Libby Shively McAvoy photographed by Paul Garrett

Envisioning Your Life Through Meditation

At the beginning of this summer I joined Danny Morel’s mastermind group called, “The Tribe.” My coaches in this inspiring group constantly emphasize the importance of starting each day with meditation and so I have made this a mandatory part of my daily routine. This practice not only helps me to focus my mind and envision winning my day, it is also helping me to envision the dream life that I am currently working toward and manifesting.

Olympic runners who win gold medals often envision crossing the finish line first. They rehearse the race in their minds and feel the incredible rush and elation that they will feel when they win the race. The unconscious mind does not know the difference between what’s real and what is created in the imagination. By tapping into our subconscious minds, we teach our bodies and our minds how to manifest the win.

I’ve been practicing this method of meditation first thing when I wake up in the morning and a second time just before I fall asleep. Not only does it help me to create my future, it also relaxes me for a good night of sleep.

Meditation is a practice that takes time to master. Many people struggle to calm their minds when they start out and they get discouraged. Stick with it, however, and over time it will work powerfully for you.

The Silva Mind Method - Meditation

I’m currently having great success both meditating and envisioning while listening to the following guided meditation on YouTube titled, “MANIFEST NOW! The Silva Mind Method: Guided MEDITATION [Laura Silva].” You can listen to it by clicking on this link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcaP8wbDlHo

What I love about this meditation is that it quickly guides my mind to relax into alpha waves. This is the phase of brain wave activity which is close to sleep, but still awake. In alpha the mind is relaxed and very creative. It is also conducive for tapping into the quantum field of infinite intelligence where you can download new ideas. For me, I feel like it is a form of hypnosis where I can freely envision without mental resistance whatever intention I desire to manifest such as my future custom home.

5 Levels of Brain Waves Activities (click to learn more)

Gamma - Consentration

Beta - Awake, anxiety

Alpha - Relaxed

Theta - Very relaxed and almost asleep

Delta - Deep sleep

Recently I was brainstorming design concepts for t-shirts for the documentary film that I am currently producing about the healing power of yoga, breathwork and meditation. On my own my ideas felt cliché, but in meditation I received several brilliant concepts that were next level. In life we can try to force our creativity on our own, or we can co-create with the help of divine intelligence to conceive more powerful results.

Emily Marie photographed by Paul Garrett

Now it is your turn to try the Silva Mind Meditation Technique while listing to the video that I provided above and bring your meditation practice to the next level.

Lie down on your bed and wear headphones or ear buds to listen to the video. Don’t use any pillows under your head for better breathing, and if there is light in the room, wear a sleeping blindfold over your eyes. Get comfortable and take in a couple deep breaths to start the relaxation process before starting the video. Also think about the intention that you want to visualize for the day or for your life. The key is to allow yourself to relax through your breathwork and also by following the calming instructions in the video. I’m discovering that the more that I do this meditation, the quicker that I go into the alpha brain wave states and the more powerful my visualizations of my intentions become.

There are few winners in this world, because very few people put in the work or have the mental and emotional tools to become high achievers. Meditation is one of those special tools that will help you to tap into your genius, become a high achiever and also manifest your dreams.

Thank you for taking time to read this blog. Let me know if you meditate and if this guided meditation works well for you.

Happy meditating,

Paul Garrett

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Total Soulful Journey

Awaken • Inspire • Empower

Getting Better Sleep Using The Wim Hoff Breathing Method

In my last post I gave you six tips for getting better sleep. Since then I started using the Wim Hoff breathing method just before going to sleep and I am getting fantastic results! It almost always took me more than twenty minutes to fall asleep at night and that was if I was lucky, but now that I’m using this breathing method I am falling asleep quickly and sleeping soundly.

Featuring Aileen Day - Photo by Paul Garrett

Magnesium, Alcohol, Water and Sleep

Before reading further you should also know that I am taking 400 mg of magnesium (which is good for sleep) in the evening and I have also cut out having a glass of wine in the evening. Furthermore, I have increased the amount of filtered water that I drink each day. All of these adjustments are also contributing to better sleep for me.

Who Is Wim Hoff?

Wim Hoff, aka “The Iceman” is an internationally renown extreme sports athlete who holds world records for withstanding extreme temperatures including climbing Mt. Everest in shorts and submerging himself in ice for almost 2 hours. In order to physically and emotionally endure such activities he has pioneered a method that includes breathing exercises, meditation and cold emersion. Through this method he is able to regulate his body’s autonomic nervous system, which regulates the organs and other internal states of the body.

Benefits of the Wim Hoff Method

1. Boost your immune system

2. Improve your sleep 

3. improve mental focus

4. Improve your ability to handle cold

5. Increase your energy

6. Lower your levels of stress

7. May help reduce depression and symptoms of PTSD

Featuring Annie James - Photo by Paul Garrett

How I Use the Wim Hoff Breathing Method for Sleep

When I am ready do go to sleep, I prop up pillows behind my back and against the wall for comfort on my bed in a dark room. I then sit with my back strait and my legs crossed in lotus position. Once I am sitting comfortably I play the guided breathing video by Wim Hoff that you can watch below. This video takes you through three rounds, which start with a period of hyperventilation, that is rapidly breathing in and out without ever pausing. On the last exhale you are guided to hold your breath for one minute. Next you are instructed to take a deep breath in and hold it for 15 seconds before starting into round two, in which the breath holding portion is extended to one and a half minutes. During this round do not be surprise if you feel some tingling in your fingers and coolness upon your skin. You may also start feeling relaxation during this period. The third and final round is identical to round two, after which I feel relaxed and my mind is cleared of thought. At this point I continue on with meditation and sometimes fall asleep while sitting up. In the morning I wake up feeling refreshed and grateful for a night of deep, quality sleep.

Let me know if the Wim Hoff Breathing Method works for you. Like anything new, it may take some practice to gain the full benefits from doing it. Stay with it and you will start mastering your mind, your body and your ability to fall fall asleep faster. You can also use this method in the morning to give your mind clarity and to energize your body. Most people breath in a shallow manner that does not properly deliver oxygen to their body. Through this breathing method you improve your uptake of oxygen, which is healthy for you.

Sleep well,

Paul

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Awaken • Inspire • Empower

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