We are not only what we say we are, but more truthfully we are the sum total of our actions. Character matters because it is the foundation on which trust is created between people. This particularly matters in business relations, as well as in intimate relationships where trust is absolutely necessary.
People who say one thing and then do something totally contrary have no credibility. Word is bond. It’s how we learn if we can trust one another, and trust is something that we have to earn. It is not an entitlement. It can take years to earn trust and only a careless moment to lose it all forever. We all know about physical and emotional affairs, but it is also dishonest to lead someone on if you have no intentions of being committed to that person who loves and honors you.
There are many reasons why people cheat and deceive one another. These are typically character flaws that run deep within their programming. This is why cheaters can never be fully trusted when they say that they will never do it again. The three most common reasons for cheating are the fear of intimacy, the fear of abandonment and the fear of not being good enough.
Furthermore, it is common for a cheater to accuse their partner of being unfaithful when they have no evidence for such a conclusion, other then their belief that everybody cheats just like them. I have learned that once a cheater, always a cheater. Yes, there are some exceptions to this rule, but for the most part you are taking a big risk when you let a cheater or a liar into your life.
7 Signs That Your Partner is Cheating
They avoid spending time with you and make excuses that don’t add up.
You feel it in your gut. Always trust your intuition and your instincts.
They become abusive and argumentative over the smallest things.
They ignore your phone calls and text messages.
They become emotionally distant.
They project blame upon you for things that they have done, refusing to own their actions.
They start drinking more alcohol than normal or abuse other drugs.
Discovering that your partner is cheating on you is very painful. It hurts when you have invested so much love in a person who dishonors you this way. Starting over can feel scary at first, but it is vital if you want to regain your life and your sense of sanity. Count your blessings that you finally found out the truth and look for the lessons that this relationship has taught you. You may benefit from reading my last two blogs: “How To Start Over When Your Plans Are Shattered,” and “Do You Have Healthy Boundaries?”
We all desire to be loved and respected by another person. After all, love is a beautiful thing. If you are currently in this situation, please love and take good care of yourself. Let go of the past, forgive yourself for overlooking the red flags that you noticed along the way and know that there is a wonderful person out there who will honor and love you as much as you will love and honor them. Remember, character matters and so do you!
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