Relationships 101: Soul Mates - Part 2 of 4

One last thing about karmic relationships, they often involve emotional or physical abuse that dims your soul. These relationships can be difficult to escape and cause you emotional trauma for years to come. Don’t give up, isolate or numb yourself if you are in or have been in this kind of a relationship. Seek help to make sure that you are safe. We can all heal from trauma if we are willing to allow our wounds to be our teachers. Seek counseling, do your soul work, consider joining a yoga class (trauma is stored in the body and yoga can help you release it. Yoga will also take you out of your mind and give you a break from your troubling thoughts), surround yourself with supportive people and most of all learn how to love YOU. Our biggest obstacles can strangely become a gift in disguise that propels us toward becoming stronger, purpose driven and more compassionate.

What Are Soul Mates?

When we think about soul mates, romantic movies often come to mind. Remember that famous elevator scene in the film,”Jerry McGuire,” where a young man signs “you complete me” to his girlfriend? There’s such a romantic notion that our soul mate is the person who will fulfill all of our needs and finally make us feel complete. Beautiful, right?

When I met my high school sweetheart I remember telling my parents that I felt like I had known her all of my life. Soul mates feel familiar because they belong to the same soul family as us. We share common interests with them, have similar tastes, but most of all we vibe wonderfully with them . Soul mates, however, can also be friends or even relatives and we can have multiple soul mates throughout our lives.

9 Signs You Have You Have Found Your Soul Mate

  1. You feel like you have known them for a lifetime.

  2. They share a similar vibe as you. This is what makes them feel familiar.

  3. You feel like they understand you.

  4. You feel like you can let down your guard around them.

  5. They make you feel valued.

  6. They help you grow as a person.

  7. They love you unconditionally (for the most part).

  8. You can go years without seeing them and still feel like no time has passed.

  9. They may come into your life for just a season to teach you important lessons.

Photography by Paul Garrett

Photography by Paul Garrett

Soulmates are not only familiar and comfortable to be around, they also mirror and challenge the shadow aspects of ourselves. By triggering our emotional wounds, they help us to release the old traumatic energy that our bodies have been holding onto. This often becomes a point of friction in unawakened relationships. For the good health of our relationships it is important for us to pause when we are triggered. We should never hold our soul mates responsible for trauma that we experienced before meeting them. This is very hurtful to our partners and can cause distance to grow between us. I have a friend who recently accused me of being controlling. Anyone who really knows me, would never say that. This accusation came from a past abusive relationship and it had nothing to do with me. Still, it felt horrible and it should not have happened if she had just paused and allowed her feelings to pass while realizing the true source of this rage.

Photography by Paul Garrett

Photography by Paul Garrett

Most of us long to share our love with an equal partner. Someone who makes us feel desired and special. Soul mates make for excellent friends and they also can be wonderful partners for life. If you are married to a soul mate, never take them for granted. With our overly busy lives these days, it’s easy to put our marriages last on our “To Do” lists, especially if we are also raising children.

10 Tips for Keeping Your Marriage or Partnership Strong

  1. Treat each other like you did in the beginning when you fell in love with each other.

  2. Put your partner at the top of your list of priorities.

  3. Go out on dates and do fun activities together. It’s important to make new memories.

  4. Know each other’s Love Language.

  5. Always be thoughtful, kind and practice gratitude.

  6. Never use harsh or hurtful language. Mean words can be forgiven, but not forgotten.

  7. Communicate your needs to your partner.

  8. Listen to understand.

  9. Do not go to sleep when you are angry with your soul mate. It’s important to resolve conflict peacefully.

  10. Make time for romance, holding hands, hugs and sex. Touch is a beautiful thing because it releases oxytocin in our bodies. This is the hormone of love and bonding and it makes us feel wonderful.

Life is especially beautiful when it is shared with a soul mate. It’s wonderful to know that someone in this world deeply loves you and has your back. You will know when you find your soul mate because you will feel the energetic pull between the two of you. Like attracts like because much of attraction is all about energy. So how do you go about finding your soulmate? I will give you some tools to help you find that special person in the forth installment of this four part series on love and relationships.

With love,


P.S. - Your feedback means a lot to me. Please click the heart below if you found value in this blog. I also appreciate your comments. You can connect with me on Instagram at either of my accounts: @totalsoulfuljourney & @thepaulgarrett. I am always happy to answer your questions.

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