Why Self Love is the Foundation of a Total Soulful Journey

Do you love yourself?  I’ve been called to revisit the subject of self love (click here to read Libby's blog on this topic) this week because I've noticed on social media and in my own life that so many people are currently struggling with the issues of self worth, self doubt and of feeling unloved. I have also struggled with these challenging feelings at times and have come to realize that self love and self knowledge are vital foundations for living a Total Soulful Journey. My hope is to help you come to love and appreciate yourself fully by creating awareness and by sharing inspiration to encourage you along your journey. We are all here on this planet for a reason. There are no coincidences and as Libby and I often say, we all have a mission and a purpose that is unique to us. This means that you matter and that you have a story to share with the world. You may not feel important now, but you are. In addition, when we love ourselves, share our God given talent and live our mission, the human collective benefits as well.

Photo featuring Elli Yokochi - Photography by Paul Garrett

Photo featuring Elli Yokochi - Photography by Paul Garrett

To overcome our insecurities and issues of self worth, it’s important for us to discover the root causes behind them. There are many ways to go about this including self study, spiritual practices and working with a therapist or a life coach. Sharing our pain and other perceived weaknesses requires us to be as honest as possible, and I understand how vital this is from my own life. Those of us who have experienced trauma know that taking the path of healing is not easy, but the pain will not go away on its own. By shining the light of truth upon our painful memories we can transmute and release them. Healing is an act of self love that liberates us from the chains of our past so that we can become the greatest versions of ourselves.

When we learn to truly love ourselves we come into harmony in mind, body and spirit. This is what is meant by wholeness. As a result we develop self respect, raise our standards and set new boundaries. Toxic people, who once controlled us no longer have influence over our lives as we let them go. Furthermore, when we love and appreciate our bodies, we stop eating unhealthy foods, take an interest in exercise and are turned off by our old unhealthy ways. I, for example, can’t believe that I used to drink soda pop and ate certain junk foods often. Today it turns my stomach just thinking about that former lifestyle. Love yourself by taking care of your body!  Without energy and good health it is difficult to feel joyful and to fulfill your potential. Make yourself a priority! That is another act of self love.

Photo Featuring Danica Johnson - Photography by Paul Garrett

Photo Featuring Danica Johnson - Photography by Paul Garrett

An additional truth is that we cannot fully love another person until we fully love ourselves. To love and be loved is one of our greatest desires, but how can we give and receive love when we do not feel lovable? So often we expect our partners to complete and heal us. We expect them to fill our love void and put our broken pieces back together, but that is impossible for them to do. In fact it is an unfair burden to put that responsibility upon our partners when our love void stems from trauma that we experienced long before they ever came into our lives. It is our responsibility to love ourselves first in order for us to fully experience love with another person. By doing the self work and healing, we gain the courage to open our hearts and allow ourselves to experience the richness and the beauty of healthy unconditional love. 

Watch the first 4 minutes of the above video featuring Tom Bilyeu, who has an inspiring YouTube channel called, "Impact Theory." The thoughts that we feed to our minds are as important as the food that we feed to our bodies. Negative self talk brings us down and reinforces our old stories of being unloveable. Positive thoughts and positive self talk, on the other hand, help us to rewrite those old negative stories with new ones that tell us that we are lovable. Surround yourself with positive people, read self help books and listen to inspiring podcasts. They will help you to change the way that you think about yourself.  

There is a GREATER LOVE that lies within us. Dedicate yourself to finding it and building a solid foundation that is based upon this divine energy which connects us with all of creation and the ultimate feeling of oneness. Start each day by saying "I love you," while you look at yourself in the mirror. Repetition is important for reprogramming the old beliefs in your mind that made you feel unloveable. You matter and life is short. Do not delay living and loving to your fullest potential. You owe it to yourself to make your life count, to live it well, to share your gifts with the world and to experience all of the love and the joy that is possible!!

Wishing you love and happiness,


P.S. - Libby and I are starting our bookclub back up again. This September we'll be reading and reviewing "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Pick up a copy and join us for the review and discussion of this important book at the end of September. It is a quick read that will help you create a stronger communication skills and a more loving connection with your partner.

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F.L.Y. (First Love Yourself)

F.L.Y. (First Love Yourself)


When we live from a place of love, all things are possible. Fear and love are polar opposites. Fear holds us back and love propels us forward. Shame, divorce, violence and obesity are just a few of our society’s massive problems, most of which can be overcome through self study. We must know, love and understand ourselves before we can fully love, fully be loved and fully reach our greatest potential.

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